Lateness, Part Two

*This is a continuation from "Lateness, Part One." Please read the original entry for additional information*

This brings us to another common cause of lateness: over scheduling.  Remember, you, the parent, control your children’s activities.  If they are so tightly scheduled that they rarely have time to relax, something needs to go.  Otherwise, they will be racing around so much they will be late just to get a chance to slow down and breathe.

In this instance, being late is the child’s equivalent of an adult being on strike.  I see children of all ages who suffer the consequences of over activity.  In their concern to help create the best life for their children, many parents forget their offspring need time just to be, to play, to think, to dream.

A third common reason for being late is that a child is angry and being late is a conscious or unconscious act of defiance calling for attention.  If this seems to be the case, pay attention and try to get at the root of the anger.  When you are able to deal with rational expressions of their anger, the lateness should resolve.  If you are unable to access the anger directly, or if you believe you have and the lateness has not resolved, consider professional counseling to assist you and your child.

Another common reason for lateness is mismatched energy.  This most often happens when one or both parents are type A “driven” personality types and the child is a laid-back type C personality who likes to take time to do anything.  If this is the case, you as the parent need to find ways to control your own anxiety about time and to allow your child enough of their own time fame to complete the needed tasks.

For example, the Mom who can be ready to go anywhere in five minutes may need to allow twenty for her more “relaxed” child.  Look at this as an opportunity to learn to slow down. 

When you find the cause of your children’s running late you will take a major step forward in disaster control.  Then, enlist your children’s aid in making mornings a time everyone in the family can enjoy rather than dread.